tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2424131704277823220.post3266316638312148280..comments2023-09-23T11:16:00.352+02:00Comments on The Franco-American Flophouse has moved: Chemo CocktailVictoria FERAUGEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16319699673885400472noreply@blogger.comBlogger9125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2424131704277823220.post-3943594775536487142013-03-20T08:32:17.756+01:002013-03-20T08:32:17.756+01:00Hi Mame. Thank you so much for reading here and f...Hi Mame. Thank you so much for reading here and for your comments. You have TWO Godins? How wonderful. As soon as the weather clears up here and we can get the mason in to do the work, we'll have one too. :-)<br /><br />The abstinence thing is a constant struggle because where the societal frame is "controlled drinking" you get a lot of push back (as you point out) from the industry and from regular folks, who can't imagine a life without alcohol. <br /><br />I reply that I can't imagine going back to a life with it. It was so awful to be a slave to it and so painful to try to control it to no avail. Sounds like you've seen the desperation and insanity of this firsthand. It's horrible and that's true for ALL of us whatever our socioeconomic status.<br /><br />I really look forward to reading more of your comments. Welcome to the Flophouse!<br /><br />Victoria <br /><br />Victoria FERAUGEhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16319699673885400472noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2424131704277823220.post-31794683720729834052013-03-19T18:14:44.418+01:002013-03-19T18:14:44.418+01:00I followed a link to your blog that had to do with...I followed a link to your blog that had to do with the Petit Godin, of which we have two. Perfect stoves, botth wood and coal. I browsed thru the list on the right and saw the word cancer, and was quite amazed to find you with some writing about that tx process, of which I have had two. In reading slowly through the entries, I then found you considering the French attitudes toward alcoholism, and elaborating on the peculiar logic that if one can maintain abstinence, then one must not have alcoholism! I have worked as an addictions counselor for thirty years, and laud any and all public acknowledgements of recovery. Not much has changed in the last three decades, as the industry is so influencial in how we frame high risk alcohol or drug use. But every time a smart, capable, honorable individual clarifies that the treatment for alcoholism is abstinence, something positive happens. Thanks for risking, and for telling the truth. I will surely follow Flop House now!<br />MameAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2424131704277823220.post-32067765794546754842012-06-22T12:01:38.527+02:002012-06-22T12:01:38.527+02:00@Anonymous, Thank you so much for your note. I...@Anonymous, Thank you so much for your note. I'm very glad your liked the post and I deeply appreciate your writing and telling me so. One of the most comforting words I hard in the program I'm in was, "Progress, not perfection." Stuff happens in life and we can either shut down and rail against the whims of fate or we can use our experiences to open up and feel empathy and a connection to all the other people in the world going through similar things. I have had a few days when I have angrily asked the universe, "Why me?" This kind of thinking is deadly for an alcoholic because, as the saying goes, "Poor me, poor me, pour me a drink...." :-) So I try to do better and my program isn't asking me to be perfect, it's just asking me to try. A work in progress.....<br /><br />All the best to you,<br /><br />VictoriaVictoria FERAUGEhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16319699673885400472noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2424131704277823220.post-48536147551543426902012-06-20T10:16:03.956+02:002012-06-20T10:16:03.956+02:00Victoria
This was a very inspirational read. Your...Victoria<br />This was a very inspirational read. Your courage and humility are exemplary. Those who succeed at overcoming major life challenges are much stronger for it, often much wiser and, I believe, a more humane person because they know better than to judge others. <br />God bless.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2424131704277823220.post-18123451787619755072012-06-19T07:18:07.323+02:002012-06-19T07:18:07.323+02:00@Rowan and Shirl, So good to hear from you! I see...@Rowan and Shirl, So good to hear from you! I see that you folks are celebrating your first year of travel. That is indeed something to celebrate. Looking forward to reading more about Italy. You two are just amazing and a real inspiration. I now know what I want to do when I retire. :-)<br /><br />@Bella, Thank you so much for your note and for being a long-time reader of the Flophouse. You're absolutely right - every day is a blessing. One of the great gifts of sobriety is presence. Waking up and looking around you and being open to all the possibilities. Even the mundane stuff is special when you start looking at it with clear eyes and a Beginner's Mind. Take good care.<br /><br />@Christophe, Good point. There are places where the doctor/patient relationship is as you described and the doctor speaks "down" to the person he treats. My French mother-in-law had breast cancer 20 years ago (she is an amazing lady and a great support and comfort to me these days) and that was how she experienced her treatment back then. Today it is much different here and one reason for that is the government's Plan Cancer which has as one of its goals getting patients more involved in their own care. Good for your grandmother. Hey, doctors are human, right? :-)<br /><br />@Loic, You're right and things are changing. The oncologists I've met at the center have (except for that one doctor) really supportive and thrilled that I got into recovery. The radiologist that gave me my initial diagnosis was a *huge* fan of Alcoholics Anonymous. I think they, more than the medecins traitants, see the ravages of diseases like alcoholism and other addictions up close. I loved what you said about normality and not being able to get past biases. It is the thing that prevents people from seeing all the possibilities in a situation and opening the mind to new information. That may be one of the most important benefits of migration - you are *forced* to open your mind as you encounter up close and personal someone else's "normal." ;-)Victoria FERAUGEhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16319699673885400472noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2424131704277823220.post-37823460545786627532012-06-18T23:53:44.515+02:002012-06-18T23:53:44.515+02:00Thanks for sharing.
Just to offer a different po...Thanks for sharing. <br /><br />Just to offer a different point of view, my mother is an oncologist, specialised in lung cancer, and for ex smokers, she insists on total abstinence, and she does the same with alcoholics. <br /><br />So as always, not everybody is so laid back about it. But I understand what you are saying. Yes many people are biased and have a sense of normality that is not exactly in the right place (for french people it's wine, for americans it is sugar...). It can get annoying to deal with that. <br /><br />Anyways. <br /><br />One day at a time!CarnetsdeSeattlehttp://www.carnetsdeseattle.frnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2424131704277823220.post-21672988035402219832012-06-18T21:06:22.553+02:002012-06-18T21:06:22.553+02:00Kudos to that nurse. The situation you run into hi...Kudos to that nurse. The situation you run into highlight one of the problems that is probably shared by different countries: doctors don't like when patients disagree or question their judgement, and they're not nice to them when that happens. We're labelled good and bad patients. Most well educated people are bad patients.<br /><br />And patients definitely should double check what they're given in the hospital. My late grandma hated that at the hospital, they are removing the pills from the box. She liked to know what she was taking. She was under blood thining medication, and during one hospital stay, she noticed that one of the pills was different than the one she was usually taking at home. They had made a mistake and given her a much stronger blood thinner. Hadn't she noticed it, it might have had pretty bad consequences.<br /><br />I am glad you've been feeling well for the past couple days.<br /><br />Best,<br /><br />ChristopheChristophenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2424131704277823220.post-81587409536436581322012-06-18T16:08:42.098+02:002012-06-18T16:08:42.098+02:00Wow, just wow.
I've been a silent reader sin...Wow, just wow. <br /><br />I've been a silent reader since 2010 as a young hopeful girl who fell in love with paris and have been wanting to move there ever since. since then i had your blog bookmarked and i keep on coming back reading everything from visa to travel and this time, about life.<br /><br />Thank you for being an inspiration to me, and to others for sure. consider each day as a blessing to you and to the people that you inspire through your writing. <br /><br />Bonne journée alors ! :-)Bellahttp://www.flickr.com/photos/77621929@N05/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2424131704277823220.post-51053858776811894822012-06-18T14:48:47.259+02:002012-06-18T14:48:47.259+02:00Victoria, thank you so much for sharing. I had b...Victoria, thank you so much for sharing. I had been wondering how you were doing. First, congratulations on getting through 17% of your chemo! Second, I cannot believe that the chemotherapy solution actually *includes* tranquilizers. Good on you for seeing it and good on the nurse who was your advocate. Nurses are the conscience of the health care system. I remember having a very similar conversation several years ago with a French doctor who didn't believe anyone could quit drinking and wished they could. I told him I did and that others could, too. I think he learned something from me in that conversation. Thank you for opening up about your first disease, alcoholism. It will help someone reading this blog, I am sure.<br />Love and grateful and recovering too,<br />we are Rowan and Shirl<br />http://www.untethered.usShirl and Rowanhttp://www.untethered.usnoreply@blogger.com